Rebecca Mezoff Blog — Rebecca Mezoff

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The pressure was too much

The pressure was too much

I woke up one day a few weeks ago and realized that all the pressure comes from me. 

To be honest, I didn't just realize this. I've known it for a long time and some wise people have reinforced it lately. I put an immense amount of pressure on myself to run a successful tapestry studio. And that needle of where "success" is keeps moving every time I get there.

That isn't healthy for me or anyone else.

So I'm taking a step back on a few things this year. Yes, I still have lofty goals, but I'm giving myself a little more time to accomplish them. I know that you all want things from me like an online dye class and a video index. Those things are in process in some fashion. But they aren't going to be done tomorrow because there is only one of me and I forget that frequently.

Finding community in the alley between the dumpsters

Finding community in the alley between the dumpsters

I woke up this morning muttering, "I'm dying," and feeling much like Cameron in THIS scene from Ferris Bueller's Day Off. In the movie, Ferris replies to his friend via telephone, "You're not dying, you just can't think of anything good to do."

Of course what I meant was, "I'm dyeing." And also, "I'm SO over it!"

. . . 

It is so easy to focus on the negative things in life. I think this is a tough human trait to overcome. I've been taking steps lately to shift my responses to events and especially to my own thoughts. To do this requires being aware of my thoughts in the first place. I've toyed with meditation in the broader sphere of yoga practice for decades, but this is the first time I've been able to stick with a committed practice for many months in a row. I attribute that to support from a community. 

About six months ago I was exiting the back side of a parking garage in downtown Fort Collins and I stopped dead in my tracks.

I agreed to weave 81 square feet of tapestry. Commissions and how they work.

I agreed to weave 81 square feet of tapestry. Commissions and how they work.

The question of whether I'm nuts or not might occur to many of you, but I'd appreciate it if you'd just think of me as a little bit driven. I did indeed contract to weave a very large tapestry this year. Actually, it has been in the works for almost a year now and I'm finally getting to the actual process of weaving. 

How does the commission process work?

Artists handle commissions in different ways, but this is how I've done it thus far.

Someone contacts me and wants me to weave something for them. (Yay!!! Happy Dance!! Someone loves my work!)

A tapestry weaver's signature technique

A tapestry weaver's signature technique

There are many tapestry weavers who make work that is very recognizable. Most of us have a style we work in for awhile as we explore an idea and some weavers use a particular way of filling space that helps identify the work as theirs.

....

There are endless examples of this sort of thing. As you look at tapestries, think about what devices the weaver is using to express themselves and which of those are particularly weaverly in form.

My very first loom: Union Loom

My very first loom: Union Loom

The very first loom I ever owned was a piece of junk. Literally. Judge for yourself.

This loom was found in a my partner's family barn in New England where I suspect it had been for about 100 years. I can hardly believe Uncle Les paid shipping to send this to Nevada, but there it was. It was missing a lot of parts but it was clear it used to be a two-harness counterbalance loom.

Bleeding hearts: how about another weave-along?

Bleeding hearts: how about another weave-along?

You blink your eyes and it is February again. Anyone else feel this way?

Last year I posted the #thetapestryheart project on my blog. To be honest, hearts have never been my thing, but I enjoyed that weave-along a lot. So, since it is already February, I thought we'd do it again.

. . . .

I never was a real heart girl. On Valentine's Day when I was a kid, I used to wear black. I think it was the mark of a lonely, shy kid. Today I'm a happily in-love adult and I am perfectly willing to weave pink hearts... This year I sat down during the State of the Union address determined to bring more love into the world. No black Valentine's projects. I doodled this little heart-inspired shape and started weaving.